The Khilafah… something that words cannot explain… it is something that gives the heart the feeling of joy that never ends… I lived like that and everything was so beautiful, even though we were bombed non-stop and people around us were losing their lives, I swear by Allah the sound of the planes, which is used only to drop the bombs on us, filled me with fear but at the same time with tranquility, because I knew that this was the way that our sins would be forgiven.
However everything went downhill when hypocrisy spread among us and people began to sell their faith for something that was worth little, so under the mask of Islam they worked against Muslims and betrayed the positions of the Mujahideen brothers, who gave their wealth and lives for this faith… These were the worst creatures, who spoke like us, were dressed like us and acted as if they were part of us but they stabbed us in the back, until we fell to one last territory, well known to everyone by the name of Baghouz… and do you know what Baghouz is? and that unhealed wound…
But before our last place where we were gathered, we lived a life of pride. Four years of a life that does not repeat itself, something that the soul does not know how to express, these are the days that are etched deep in us, that are woven with fear, but a fear that is caused by the following of the right path and worshipping Allah alone.
For several years I tried to fulfill myself as a mother, but it didn’t work out. When I came to Syria, I thought I wouldn’t live long, and somehow I put that desire to be a mother aside… life in the worldly sense was cruel and difficult, all those bombs, blood, death… It teaches you to be more attached to Allah and to be satisfied with his decree.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was Ramadan. A very hot summer day. I felt weak, I thought I had a health problem, I never thought about pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant, it was something indescribable, I simply couldn’t hold back my tears, after so many years… subhanaAllah.
And then you feel how truly blessed is the land of Sham, as stated in the Hadith.
And I remembered the Hadith Qudusi, when Allah says:
‘Whoever draws near to Him Subhanah by a foot, draws near to Allah by a step,
and whoever comes to Allah walking, He, the Exalted, comes to him in hurry.’
How much mercy from the Most Merciful…
I am blessed with a beautiful little girl who always reminds me that no sacrifice for Allah will go unrewarded. I wish all Muslims had strong certainty in Allah and strong hope that their prayers would be answered, even after some time.
The most beautiful things really come suddenly.
The day I gave birth to her there was total chaos, we were in the capital city of Raqah…
The ground shook from the strength of the bombs, the thought of death and pain fell into oblivion, with the first look into her eyes and innocent face…
Going through difficult things in that period, I decided to name her after a very famous companion of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam, after a great warrior whose name is known throughout Islamic history… a sahabiya rediallahu anha…
She was a symbol of sincere love and sacrifice for the religion of Allah and his beloved Muhammad salallahu alaihi wa salam.
Hard days were coming, it was very cold, and we were forced to leave the city, we didn’t even have carpets in the house, the floors were cold and the walls were even colder, it was a big challenge for me and my newborn baby… But how can you be left in that state, you left your country, your parents, so why would Allah leave you when your heart and intention were sincere? Isn’t good rewarded except with good?
After a long journey and fatigue, Allah sent us help that we did not expect, it was even better than we expected, we stayed with an Ansar family who were better to us than our real family before, they fed us, washed our clothes, and settled in, they never gave the impression that it was difficult for them and that they wanted us to leave, but on the contrary…
I thanked Allah for letting me know what the word Ansar means in its true sense.
It is wonderful that the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam said:
‘Hate towards the Ansars is a sign of nifaq and love towards them is a sign of Iman.’
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